My Life

My husband deployed in March, and I was told to keep busy while he was gone to make the time pass, and you know it's the truth. I have been so busy before I know it my husband will return to me in a month for R&R. I am so excited to have him back if only it is for 2 weeks. Lets see where to begin..lol

May- I have done several things in May to include working, taking care of 3 children, running a community based group, and bowling in Tourniments around the united states. This month I believe I went to Salina Kansas to bowl.

June- Well same as above excpet I have started bowling Summer Leagues (2) on two of my days off...Wednesday and Friday. I also bowled in a tourniment in Springfield Missouri. I have taken Jasmine to go stay with Kevin for a few months :( But I am coping! I bought another Cadillac.. a CTS to be exact! I love it!

July- Well its only the beginning and I have just dropped Kayden off to go stay with David for a few weeks. I just came back from a 4 day Tourniment in El Paso Texas. This one was big...2010 Women's USBC National Championships. So far I have won $220 in Brackets and I am waiting to see where I placed. So far thats all I have..

So I have had a busy month and it's only the 20th..lol Well they did say keeping busy was the best thing to do during a deployment. I think it a little too literal. Anywho in the begining of the month My group sponsered 3 teens to go to prom and that was a hit! They were all dressed up (we provided almost everything), they had professional portraits done, a dinner, and a ride to prom in my Escalade ( all the limos were booked :( ), so that went great! Then I had my bowling tourniment on the 15th of May, well I bowled like crap but I had fun, and I have never been to Springfield MO before so it was a new experience. While I was there I got a new tattoo, because I get one from every state that I go to, so it was prime time to get one. I ended up getting it in a spot that is known to be tender but I didn't feel a difference. Its pretty :) Also I am going to be getting a new Cadillac CTS! I am soooo stoked. My hubby and I were looking at trucks and decided because we already have the Escalade that we bought in the begining of the year we should just go ahead and get a car....my dream car! God how I love cadillacs...I think that will be my nest tattoo :) Anywho, I found out some disturbing news about some of the wives whose hubbys just left. I cannot say how it sickens me that they cannot wait until their spouse gets back to take care of their "needs" so to speak. I just want to slap them!!!! Ugh stupid Army Wives that cheat give us good wives a bad name! Oh also I found out when Tony is having his R&R Wohoo!!! Now, I need to get off here...need to get some more paperwork done for the new caddy..it will be here in 12 days!!! YES!!!

I tend to believe I lead a very good life. I have been through the ringer with life changing experience that it has taught me to look at new ones in a new light. Unfortunately the people my age and even older have not experienced the things I have, and those that have are very few and far between. It is hard for me to have common ground with allot of ladies around here but the ones I have met and have been wonderful to me are just awesome! Don't get me wrong, I have met a few that I thought were cool, but two three weeks down the road its "what can you do for me" type of friendship, and honestly I am not down for that. I feel like here lately I am being walked on. I have weeded out the bad and dealing with some of the ones in perspective. My down fall is I am too nice. Now when you are looking at me I know you are probably thinking, tattoos and piercings...no way! Well that's what you get for being stereotypical. I can be mean but if we develop a friendship it is allot harder to tell you how I feel in fear of hurting your feelings. So it just fumes and fumes until one day I explode! I know that's not a healthy way of doing things but I am working on it. After all I have to think of my family and that we come first. I would give my last dollar to the right cause, and sometimes that gets me in trouble! I am learning to deal with that as well. I just get all wound up with trying to make things perfect ( I'm OCD) it's in my nature, that I get carried away and it ends up biting me in the ass later! Over the past few weeks I have learned that I will meet people that just want to be friends with me for money, or to use me, and then there are those real friends that stick by you and are there for you when you are down. Like I said they are very few and far in between but they do exist! When you live in a world where you move at the drop of a dime, and have to make friends in different states as you handle and juggle all the stresses of the military you get good at it. You develop this kind of 6 Th sense that most people don't have. You gain the ability to see people for what they are without having to hang around long enough to get screwed! I have learned allot of things being a military wife and I wouldn't change it. Hell I probably know more regs then people in the actual military :) Sad because I have had to look them up from experience but I will fight for my family and for my friends! It just struck me as odd that there are not that many honest people left in the world today. I don't know if it is because the lack of morals they were brought up with or that they just don't care. All I can say is Karma! I am happy I am raising my children with standards and morals and that I have every bit of confidence that they will grow up to be respectable adults when entering the "real" world!

I know I have been ranting for a while, just some things to ponder I guess, that's what blogs are for right?

On the upside my husband and I are doing great! He keeps me strong everyday. Sure we have our ups and downs but all together we have develops a bond like no other. We have been through tough times and I can honestly say it has brought me closer to my man. I have full trust for him and would do anything for him. Its so rare that you see couples that start out from nothing, and have people creating drama striving for you not to be together, and end up as happy as we are!

I remember when I was a single mother of two kids driving a beat up Saturn working almost 7 days a week as a security officer just so that I could cover rent and food. In Hawai'i no less! Its been 5 years since my hero found me and swept me off my feet. Now I live in a home with lots of great things that make a house a home, family pictures, a full fridge, and a comfy bed. I am driving an nice truck and I appreciate everyday what I have! I know what its like to have nothing. It baffles me to see women complain of how rough they have it while driving their nice car, and living in a paid for house, and then turning around and cheating on the same person who provided all of it. Baffles me really! They don't know what rough is! Or when I hear some 21 year old guy detesting a baby and saying he isn't ready and that he is sure it isn't his even though he has paternity papers. I was 16 when I got pregnant and raised my son alone. No child support from the dad, he wasn't ready either. I told him to embrace the life he was given and take care of his child, that tomorrow could be his last day, and if he wanted to leave this world as a dead beat. He came in the bar the other day to show me pictures of his kid :) He is an active dad now. People down bartenders even though we do give some insightful advice! Well some of us anyway..lol. Ok I think I am done rambling off any little thing that comes to mind..lol sorry had a rough day today...can you tell?

Well its almost 4am and I am still up. After and exhausting day all I want is to sleep, but I fear that I might suffer from insomnia. I stay up at all hours of the night all the time. I don't have issues staying asleep its just getting to sleep. I just have so many things going through my head at night that I stay awake thinking and analyzing the day.

Like today, I was out the door at noon or so to get to the prom set up for ♥ D.R.E.A.M ♥ and that went until 6pm, only for me to rush back to my house and get dinner for the kids and Kelly only to then turn around and get dressed for my PBA proam tourniment. Then after that I had to pick up the students and drop them off. I then headed home. I am EXHAUSTED!! I just wish I could sleep is all.

I am very open to all kinds of music, I see it as a way to express myself in soo many ways. I don't know many other people that view music the same way. I know people listen to the words, and the beat but the question is can they relate to what the singer/songwriter is talking about? I know a few people that view music the same way I do and its awesome that we can play songs and tell what each other is feeling just by listening to the song. Sorry it was on my mind and had to blog about it..lmao

Ok so My buddy Christina and I came up with this awesome plan to have a poker night. Just a few of our friends and buddies. Well its A character party..lol We are talking, poker table, costumes, drinks, cigars the whole 9! Well we are going to go to Salina on Friday to see about the costumes, and some part supplies, as well as a poker table. Then after we get back I have to take Kayden to get some shoes, and a watch...then its off to Watch the new freddie movie..I am sooo stoked! We will have about 10 people involved in this poker party but its going to be soo much fun! Then Saturday I am helping with getting the kids ready to go to prom. After that I am going to get ready to go bowl with the PBA pro's!!! I am excited about that. Well off my soap box back to reality.

Well I feel really good today. I went to manhattan and helped a student from the high school pick out her jewelry and makeup for prom. My group DREAM provided the fund for her to be able to go to prom. Doing this now with her, made me realize how expensive its going to be when my children go...but I am looking forward to it none the less.

I learned a lesson today. Where ever there is succsess, there will be haters. I am still in the works of learning on how to deal with it. I guess I never figured why people would dislike people that work hard to get what they want. Maybe because I don't dislike anyone for being good at what they do, instead I try and learn from it, to help myself out in the future. I envy people who have it made, some have it made from the start, and others work their ass off to get where they are. Granted I have more respect for the ones that work for it, but thats just me.

I am finding myself grow as a person more and more each year. I look at people my age and realize that I am more mature, not because I chose to be, but because the experiences I have had in life. I like it, I don't mind but it does make it hard to find someone my age to relate with. Most of my friends are 30+. Not that its a bad thing, I envy them for going through their life and sharing their experiences.

Well My husband is doing good overseas. As best as to be expected. I miss him more and more each day. You know most people complain about deployments, I guess I look at it as it makes your marriage stronger. I know, I know I don't like deployments but through it all you have to find the positive or you will never get through it.

I miss my mother as well, she is overseas too, as well as my uncle. Go figure they would send all my family to Iraq/ Afghanistan all at the same time. I am used to it though, the Army is my way of life, and I know it can be hard but there are alot of great things that come from it too. I just wish everyone else around me would see that. I always get "aww you poor thing", my response it "don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for the families that don't have support".

Well I need to get off here, I have laundry and dinner to finish up.